MY NAME IS PHIL I JUST WANT TO INTRODUCE MYSELF, I HAD MY STROKE MID DECEMBER 2019
THIS HAS AFFECTED MY VISION ,I SUFFER FROM FATIGUE AND ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION. I HAVE PRETTY MUCH BEEN ABANDONED
BY MY WIFE , BROTHER,SISTER AND WHO I THOUGHT WERE MY FRIENDS . MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER IS MY ONLY REAL SUPPORT BUT LIVES 130 MILES FROM ME. I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO RETURN TO WORK SINCE. I NOW FIND MYSELF LIVING ON MY OWN ISOLATED WITH VERY LITTLE HELP.MY DAUGHTER SUGGESTED I JOIN A FORUM SO HERE I AM
A warm welcome to the forum, Phil. You are no longer alone ?. You will find many people on this site with stories to share, and who will understand exactly what you are going through - your daughter's suggestion is spot on!
This is a very stressful time, and it is especially difficult for people who have suffered a stroke, as there seems to be little support just now. After-care for stroke seems to be something of a post-code lottery; some people receive great care and others, such as yourself, are very much left to their own devices. Covid has made the whole situation worse ?.
The good news is ... you will receive good advice on this site, and you will have plenty of friends to give you support. So keep posting, and let us know how you are getting on ?. Take good care, stay strong.
HELLO PHIL, I HOPE YOU FIND THIS GROUP SUPPORTIVE I HAVE SO FAR. I AM A FAIRLY NEW MEMBER. HILARY
Hello phil welcome to the forum I think your situation is dreadful how can people turn their backs on you. You have got many friends here just keep on sending messages and we will help as much as we can. Love and best wishes. Norma.
Hi Phil. The Stroke Association has a support programme called Here For You which offers 12 weeks of weekly phone calls with a volunteer. You can self refer via the Stroke Association website. There may be a bit of a wait until you can be matched, but it is a really good programme.
Hello Phil and welcome to the forum. It's not unusual for people to seemingly abandon you, some of my friends dropped off after I had a stroke but you can and will still have a good life. I would encourage you to get in touch with the stroke association and when it's possible again to join your local group, they probably meet once a week.You are assured of a warm welcome and will make friends there who will really care about you. This site is also a place where we share good and not so good times, there is always someone here that will know the answer to any problem you may have and you will be supported by us all.
I had a stroke over 2 years ago and the first few months were very hard as I got over the shock and came to terms with what had happened. Now I have some short term memory loss, although this is slowly improving and funny feelings in my hands and feet which my GP thought was arthritis but now says is probably an effect of the stroke.
Best wishes
Ann
Hi Phil, kudos to your daughter for pushing you in the right direction. It will help to feel there are people that totally 'get you' and I think everyone on here can do that, either from the perspective of a survivor, or from a carer/relative.
My stroke was 2016. I suffered with all the things you mention, as well as physical disability. The vision improved slowly, the fatigue is still constant but there are slow and tiny improvements, even after 5 years.
Depression can be helped with meds, I was always anti anti depressants, but I did try and they did help, but not overnight.
Loneliness is even more difficult after stroke. This is the 1st step to making new connections and there are other ways to reach out on the internet......throw yourself into it and see what happens. I joined a dating site, explained my issues and struggles and see who responds. Made a couple of friends but not the elusive 'one', but got to keep hoping.
I did return to work, but that was after 18 months and only to part time and working from home, but I couldnt cope and have just taken ill health retirement.
I hope you take some hope and strength from the responses you have already got on here. Its not like the old life, but it can be a different life. Its not all positive, but there can still be positives to come, but you need to instigate the green shoots of recovery from within.
Best wishes and good luck.
THANKS FOR YOUSUPPORT,I FIND MYSELF GETTING SEVERE PAINS IN MY WRISTS AND HANDS IT COMES AND GOES OUT OF THE BLUE. I WILL HAVE A WORD WITH MY GP THANKS.KEEP SAFE
THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT ,I FIND IT INSPIRING ,I AM AN ELECTRICAL ENGINEER AND YES I HAVE A TOTAL DIFFERENT LIFE AHEAD.THATS THE HARD BIT AFTER WORKING SINCE 1977 ..TO ADJUST .I FIND IT HARDTO EVEN PUT A PLUG ON ..THATS WHAT I FIND FRUSTATING AND THATS WHAT GETS ME DOWN.I HAD AN ACTIVE LIFE AND HAVE TO ACCEPT I CANT DO THE THINGS I DID BEFORE.IT WAS A CHALLENGING JOB AND THAT IS WHAT I LIKED ABOUT IT.TAKE CARE AND KEEP SAFE
Hi Phil, How sad that all these things have happened on top of your stroke. Unfortunately, stroke affects all our relationships. Mine was five years ago. My partner was fine, but some long standing friends either didn't want to know or treated it as if it was a simple illness.
The after effects of stroke last a long time and even now some friends assume I must be well. 'You look well' comes easily from them, despite the fact that I am still partly disabled. I still get fatigue, which requires a daily nap and my left hand lacks sensitivity.
That said, I have come a long way in five years. My walking is okay, I go on short holidays and I can cook and bake. Yes, I get down days, but I battle on to improve as much as I can. So try to keep your spirits up.
Support after a stroke is hard to find, including support from gps and other services. Good that your daughter is standing by you. Good luck with your recovery.
Hi Phil, My stroke was three years ago. I am doing well now, but I’ve not forgotten all those difficult times. I also had fatigue, anxiety and depression. Those 3 things seem to affect almost all stroke survivors. I still have some fatigue. I tire more easily, but that has gotten better over time. The anxiety and depression I decided to attack and not let that “get” me. The stoke was bad enough. I saw a counselor for a few months, and that helped me get through the depression. She gave me some techniques to deal with the anxiety. I also took CBD oil (usually at bedtime) , and that helped the anxiety and my leg spasms as well as sleep problems. A almost never need it now. Isolation is a terrible thing. Humans are meant to have human contact. Even though you can’t return to work doesn’t mean you have to stop living. After many months, I finally couldn’t take it just sittting around at home brooding and decided to break that cycle. I started going to church on Sunday and bible study on Wednesday. I learned to play ukulele at the senior center on Mondays. (By the way, there was a blind person in my ukulele class.) The warmth and laughter of other people really lifted my spirits and helped my overall healing. Joining the world again helped me feel human, like myself, again. If you can’t drive, maybe there is a senior transport that could get you places. There are solutions to many problems out there and many friends if you look for them. I will remember you in my prayers tonight, Phil. My best to you. Jeanne