Greiving the old me

That makes a bit more sense Simonin Edinburgh. I was thinking that’s a long way. Probably needs a thread on its own - it would not surprise me if survivors make such decisions thinking it relieves a partner. But the situation is too personal to judge. Time will reveal the reality if you remain there for her. One way or another.

I find this this the hardest thing, losing me. I had my stroke just over 6 months ago. Im slowly recovering physically, I lost all feeling down my left side, but the biggest thing I’ve lost is me, mark! I look at myself in the mirror , I’ve lost lots of weight and I look different, but as you say It’s the inner self your soul that you don’t recognise anymore. I keep fighting, but each day I seem to loose abit more of me. The last few weeks, I’ve began to realise I have to accept the old me is beginning to move further away, and I have to try and create a new me. Xx

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Ken what u said is exactly like me when I look in the mirror I see my dads face I’ve lost 3 stone :flushed:I’m 18 months down the road I loved what u said about our souls . I’m writing a book inspired by my family history I started it a couple of years before my stroke . I ve picked it up again and started writing I recaptured a bit of the old me and it felt good . Hobbies are good to have best wishes christine

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Hi @TootieB , me again !!!

Somthing I’ve found really useful over the last few months is to realise that wanting to be like ‘the old me ‘ (i.e being able to run 10k every day ) is about as sensible as wanting to be Rafa Nadal !!! The ‘old me’ was now 2 years younger , hadn’t had a stroke and was still working. No matter how much I want to - I can never be that person again , just as I will never be Rafa Nadal ! So I am trying to focus on enjoying every day , doing the things I want to and taking the ‘me’ I am today forward, making sure that I ‘am present’ in the small every day things that I love - going for walks with my gorgeous wife, enjoying a beer down the pub with my son or daughter (am extremely proud of both of them). I love the poetry of Thomas Hardy and now keep in my head the last verse from ‘The Self-Unseeing’ ……
“Childlike I danced in a dream
Blessings emblazoned that day;
Everything glowed with a gleam
Yet we were looking away.”

So am trying to make sure that I am not so busy trying to be the ‘old’ me that I’m ‘looking away’ from all the blessings I have today.


Over the last 2½ years I’ve noticed the folk who life journey seems best are the ones who say "I had a stroke, it was an event on life’s path (with effects…)” they aren’t looking backwards but forward

To trade Omar Khayyam for Hardy
" The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it."

Which makes all the medical chat about "REcovery & REhabilitation” a misplaced motivation. My motivation is to build the best abilities I can as progress from where I am.


Well said @SimonInEdinburgh

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