Hi all - this is probably a strange question to ask but here goes !
How do people negotiate sitting and standing from tables and chairs when out, say for example in a coffee shop ?
When at home we have a wheeled table, so Mum can settle in the chair and then we move the table in front of her. However when out we seem to find it a bit of a struggle to help her sit in a chair, close enough to the table.
Due to balance, confidence and strength issues she is unable to move herself and chair in nearer to the table, and once she is sitting - it is very difficult for us to push her in. We have physically moved the table before but sometimes that’s not possible.
Mum also gets a bit self conscious about people watching her, and we are due to meet a friend for coffee next week for the first time since her stroke. So we are looking for advice to make it as easy as possible for her.
It sounds like you need to arrange for the loan of a folding wheelchair. I can’t advise where to look for this, but maybe someone on the forum has info.
Hi, I’m 5 years post stroke and I also have this problem in restaurants and coffee shops. I stand as close to the table as I can and my husband slides the chair in behind me and if possible moves the table towards me. In the early days I really struggled with spacial awareness and found it really difficult to negotiate my way through tables and chairs in small restaurants, although I’m pleased to say that this has improved considerably.
Sorry this isn’t particularly helpful, just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. Hope your trip out goes well.
The more often you do things, the easier they become and the less self conscious you feel. We now enjoy regular trips out. Most places are wheelchair accessible and cater well for people with disabilities.
We used to find places where we could push Dad’s wheelchair under the table. Easier said than done and narrowed down our options but at least Dad was comfortable. A decent place should give you some help with moving chairs etc.
Hope she enjoys meeting her friend xx
Hi. I too have difficulty in the coffee shop. I usually sit sideways on to the table as closely as possible. My husband then pushes me round Fortunately I am quite light and he is strong enough. I hope you enjoy your meeting with your friend. Lilian.
Many thanks @Mahoney, we do have a wheelchair but Mum prefers not to use it. She can walk with a rollator (and without if holding a supportive arm), so wants to keep this level of mobility for as long as she can, which I can understand. We’re meeting tomorrow (hopefully) so will let you know how it goes.
Hi all - we managed to get out to meet our friend today - and all went well
The coffee shop wasn’t busy at all and we were early, so it was easy to move the table out slightly to help Mum get in. The chair had arms as well and that always makes a difference.
It was a little emotional, this being the first time in over two years that they have seen Mum, since she had her stroke. And I think we were all a little nervous - but so glad it went smoothly. It gave Mum a chance to talk to someone other than my Sister and I for a change, and will hopefully boost her confidence in what she can achieve. It’s something that she could do again…after a couple of days rest !
Thanks for all advice and comments
Best Wishes,
Karen
Hi all, I know this is an old topic I created, but just wanted to say that today (just over three and a half years since Mum’s big stroke), we went out for a Christmas meal with a group we belong to. The first time we’ve done anything like that with them.
At the beginning of the year, Mum said it was her goal to be able to get to it with them - and today she achieved it.
As time has progressed over the years, we’ve managed to get out a fair amount to local places and have learnt what works and what doesn’t. Rearranging furniture in a coffee shop or garden centre no longer phases me !!
We also recently purchased a lightweight wheelchair, and plan to use that for longer trips. We’re hoping it will allow us to get further afield and try some new places.
Things are still incredibly hard sometimes - but it’s days like today that prove just how far we have come, and I wanted to share that with people who understand the struggles we face.
The first thing that jumps into my mind after reading your post is the effect that being able to get out with you will have on her well being. Small successes are often huge steps along the road to a better life.
She must really appreciate what you are doing for her.
Take care, look after one another, it is always worth the effort.
Looking back over your first posts, you will just how far you have in those 3½yrs. And in the heights of covid, I’m sure you had your fears for your mum. You have done so well by your mum, you’ve come a long way and you should be proud
And your mum has achieved another personal milestone which should not go uncelebrated, so
Hi, so pleased to hear that your trips out have been successful and that your mum is achieving her goals. Well done to both of you. As a Stroke Survivor I know how anxious I sometimes feel when going somewhere new or doing things differently.
My husband is my carer and I know how difficult things are for him as well, he always checks out, car parking and accessible toilets etc.
We are always out and about and doing things that we never thought we would be able to do after my stroke 6 years ago.
A big well done to both of you and I’m sure your mum appreciates everything you do for her.
Keep on keeping on and enjoy lots more adventures.
@Craftchick that’s so heartening to read. It’s great to hear of your mum achieving her goals. You have done so much for your mum you should be very proud too.
unplug.
