Hi - thanks for the post, it's an interesting read, because I'm recognising and remembering where we were a year ago. In many ways my husband has made fantastic progress, but ... his brain has to work so hard to do things that he previously would have done on automatic pilot. If his staff ask him more than one thing he becomes overloaded, and then has to stop. If they could let him deal with one thing at a time it would probably be ok, but it just mashes his brain when he has to multi-task. I'm aware that this might sound disappointing, and this might not be the case for you, but I'm trying to say that just be aware of others 'overloading' you, probably unintentionally, because stroke is hidden, and you'll appear to be ok and they will expect you to manage everything that you previously took in your stride. Colin has advised you to continue to pace yourself as you return to work - better to ease yourself back into your role and succeed, rather than try to hit the ground running but not get to the end of the week! Keep your goals in view and be prepared to be flexible. It's lovely that you have a job that you clearly enjoy, and one day you'll be able to immerse yourself in it again, it will make you feel like 'you' again - try not to jeopardise that by doing too much too soon. (Sorry I don't want to sound naggy, just want you to be aware that it's a challenge, and you need to give your brain some TLC). Do your 'light duties' and hopefully you will also enjoy those, and the next steps will present themselves. It's good that you have a supportive boss who knows that you're a quality employee, so they clearly don't want to lose you. Give yourself time to rest before next week. Let us know how you get on, thinking of you, very best wishes, Nic.
I had a stroke 12 days after having my long awaited first child. We fought for 10 years to get pregnant then this happened, I try not to get angry about it as I do have my life and my beautiful daughter but I do feel frustrated that the universe felt that I had to go through this.
Outwardly I look perfectly fine but I am fatigued and sometimes cannot even remember the word for ‘blue’ or ask for my carrot out of the car when I mean bag!
I have got myself back to work part time, my employers being brilliant. I am in Finance though and confuse numbers which is a bit awkward! Being back at work and coping with a now two year old has given many around me the right to assume that I am back to normal now and this sucks!
This is a very emotional read - a rollercoaster. It's such a perverse situation when you work so hard to get your life back and it kinda backfires on you. You have probably seen that this affects just about every one of the SS on this site, so there is no easy answer to the issue. It's such a battle, because stroke is still so misunderstood. I can only confess to the fact that until my husband suffered his stroke (Aug 2017), I hadn't a clue about the condition, and certainly not about the long-term residual affects - I'm still learning.
In normal circumstances when someone is recovering from an illness, it's always good to be able to tell the person how well they're doing/looking/managing, but with stroke there's so much going on inside which isn't managing, it causes high levels of frustration, and a constant feeling of being misunderstood. Clearly there is a massive need for educating as many people as possible, so that maybe in future SS will receive more respect and understanding for what they have endured, and continue to have to endure.
Take care
Try to accept things as they are and live your life one day at a time. As i said in an earlier post I have had post stroke fatigue for six years, I don't like it but try to accept it as the way things are. It is somewhat counter productive to wish for what you do not have. hope this is some help to you.
I know what you mean. I had my stroke 71/2 years ago but I still have problems and then I got Breast Cancer late last year luckily I didn’t have to have chemo just the radiotherapy. But I don’t let anything get me down and I am a fighter. Do not worry about getting your words wrong just keep on trying because that’s the key to coping with a stroke because you might not be able to do something now but you may in the future. Don’t take any notice of the people who think that you should be fine they don’t know what it is like.
Caroline
I had a stroke on Feb 26th this year, aged 62. I was absolutely shocked that I'd had a stoke and was more concerned about my wife than me (her mother had recently passed on after a stroke). I lost my peripheral vision and subsequently had to surrender my driving licence. In April I had major surgery, a carotid endarcterectomy, which also hit me quite hard. Circa six months after my stroke: my vision has not returned; I am extremely tired all the time with chronic anemia adding to my woes; and feeling quite depressed. In fact, I feel much worse than I felt straight after my stroke. Is this possible? Does anyone else relate to this? Everybody tells me how well I look - it drives me nuts!
You may be eligible to an "Access to Work Grant" through the Dept of Work and Pensions - that may help? Let me know if you'd like further details. Howard.
Have you tried joining a group of stroke survivors? I go to coffee mornings. Being with others who have a similar experience is a help. You will find some who are worse than you which puts a perspective on your own case.
Dear Welshman
Yes I fully understand your comments.
Stroke very often makes waves of depression which we have to fight off. I had clinical depression decades ago and I am not going back to that. So I refuse to let the depression get to me. Smile. Be positive. Decide depression is not going to get to you.
I had counselling and the counsellor quickly diagnosed post trauma shock and helped me through.
The tiredness is probably "post stroke tiredness". Which is the most understated daignosis possible. I call it stroke fatigue or SF. In the early stages I felt convinced that my brain needed to turn me off whilst it repaired or rewired. This went on for 9 months which is longer than average. Then it changed to a more permanent form of tiredness. which has stuck with me for two years. It does however ease a bit. I find it essential to get the right amount of night time sleep to combat the daytime tiredness. Actually, I am exhausted rather than tired. So many SS get this. It takes numerous forms but they mostly seem to hav a common thread. Please be assured this is the norm and not just you !
"You look well" is also a very very common affliction. The response can be : Yes I look well because the tablets tan me and i spend lots of time outdoors. But you can not see inside my head, where the damage has occurred.
I dont think humans can believe we are unwell when we look well. Only other ss understand.
We do get many subsidiary problems. Our brains are seriously impaired and it seems that it has lost its command of so many bits of us. I take these issues one by one. As long as your BP/pulse is tolerable and you sleep well, then you can start to deal with each problem separately.
It does seem that rest and tranquilty help recovery.
You did the right thing to concern yourself with your good wife. She is suffering . And you need her fit and well to help you out when needed. And probably need her to help you navigate this hopeless forum. It has been so good in the past. I am waiting for it to return to being so good sometime soon. Only another SS understands.
Colin
Colin - thanks for continuing to post when it's such a pain trying to keep track of stories. I never tire of your kind, wise words, they have helped me so much during this first post-stroke year, there's no way I would have gained such insight and understanding without comments from you, and several other regular contributors.
You might not even find this - heyho!! 
xx
Me too, "emotional lability" is something stroke can cause, Im generally calm and easy going but cetain things will suddenly make me very angry, but a minute or two later I may be OK again. People say I've recovered, its amazing; well ive not and never will, they dont know the half as my nan would say. We make "recoveries", and im very grateful indeed for what I can do now, its been a long road, but no day ever goes by without this affecting me,it still is a big part of my life and i have to accept that and adapt, I dont want or feel i should contantly have to explain myself, i keep much to myself often, i want to get on as best I can. However as with everything some people are always going to be more sympathetic than other, but few people can be empathetic. Fatigue can get worse before gets better, did for me when left hospital, maybe as I became more active, physically and mentally. i try and be positive and focus on all things i do not what i cant, but have stopped beating myself up so much when i have bad days of frustrtion and fatigue, thats part of the journey too.
Thanks for your post. Your experiences and recovery sounds very similar to my husband's; he tends to keep things to himself, and I have to remind myself that he still finds everything a challenge, even leaving the safety of the house to go for a walk is a mountain to climb, everything is scary. Like you, he is grateful to have made a good recovery, but the affects are a constant reminder that life is never the same. All we can do is hope that as time passes, the fatigue and emotions might not be such a feature of daily life. Reading posts such as yours, really helps me, and hopefully it will enable me to be a source of support and understanding for my husband. That sounds a bit selfish, but I'm constantly reading posts from SS on this site, who have helped so much by sharing their stories - their courage and fighting spirit are an inspiration. Thank you, all good wishes.
Im glad you find the posts here helpful, i very much do too, brings me some perspective and helps me think about things. I recall the time everything was so unbelievably hard, the world is just not the same post stoke, I often stuggle to think of analogies as nothing is really whats its like, things can get better over time and did for me but i know im never going to be the same, just different,
Thanks Paul, we were chatting just before we went to sleep last night, and saying the same thing - there are no suitable analogies for this change which has been forced upon us. I tend to look back from time to time, but it doesn't do any good (for me), so we just keep looking forward and live each day as best we can.
Thank you Nic. I couldnt get my gardening hat on this morning.
Medics need to be wary of what they say, but we can say what we feel is right.
The help I received on the old forum was crucial to my recovery. But the site was much easier to use, otherwise I would have given up. This site must be impossible to people recently bitten bya stroke. Surprising, I read the very good SA booklets which are simple to find and read, so why cant we sort out this hopeless new forum ?
I will continue to try as I think my ability to recall the early days is fading fast. So whilst I can add to a post I will do so. I shudder at the errors in spelling and the poor English That I have used. Aphasia is a barely understood disability. It took me 18 months to discover that I had aphasia !
Keep going Nic.
Colin
I had 4 TIAs six months ago. Fortunately, after the third event and dialing 999 I was in the local Torbay hospital within the hour and received prompt treatment. The fourth event occured in the hospital ward, so I was in good hands by then.
Thanks to our wonderful NHS, I was discharged within three days. Initially I experienced fatigue and need a stick to get around, if only slowly. My health improved slowly, boosting morale but then after a couple of weeks started to go downhill. I had to return to using a stick, which I had partially given up.
After an in depth discussion with my GP, we decided to stop taking atorvastatin for a trial period. After six months, I am now back to about eighty percent of what I was prior to my TIAs. Maybe I would have improved anyway, but we will never know. He has now referred me to a six week programme at the local leisure centre, designed among others for people post heart attack and strokes. So, hopefully, things should improve. If nothing else, the mere fact that I am doing something myself makes me feel more optimistic.
I cannot stress too firmly, however, that any decision to stop taking statins MUST ONLY BE TAKEN AFTER A FULL DISCUSSION WITH A GP OR STROKE SPECIALIST.
Hi! Thanks for your message. I did receive some details of the nearest support groups but as I'm not able to drive and I live in a very rural location, I'm not able to get to any of them... hence I'm using this website instead. I'm a bit of hermit anyway & much prefer my own company and reading/typing... I hope you find the group you attend helpful :-)
Hi David - thanks for your message. I'm sure you're right, people do say I shouldn't expect to be exactly as I was before... but I'm not a giver-upper, until I know that for sure myself. Thankfully I've been allowed to start work again, a little bit at a time. I remember how to do my job. So I just have to be more patient, which I hate, till I can be as good at it was I was until May. Perhaps the patience will come along with other things. By end of November I'll be off my medication so I'll be able to stay awake more... which will help. I'm trying to not focus on how long away that is but some days I do check the calendar and count the days. I hope you're getting along better as time goes by, too.
Hi Paul. That last bit is what I'm trying to do - focus on what I do, not what I can't do. So now I know I can stay awake for a couple of days, but I try to ignore that on the third day I'll need to sleep all day. I know I can walk slowly for about an hour and a bit, but I'll ignore the fact that I'm not able to do 15-mile hikes yet. Similarly I can get so angry about something simple... but once I've had a cry, then I can ignore it, or even laugh about it. Nobody else I know will ever understand these kinds of feelings... envetually I hope they get bored of asking about it all.
Hi Colin - you're so right, this forum is confusing! Why can't all the replies appear in a chronological order under the original post, like on every other forum I've ever seen! I've missed lots of these posts from all you lovely people. Look how I'm complaining because this is annoying me... when I should be focusing on the content of people's responses instead of the silly format. I have aphasia too... but that's why autocorrect & google are my friends. Also why I prefer to write & read instead of talking to people. Anyway hope you're having a good week... Jo x