I went and saw a psychotherapist last week, it was difficult, it’s even hard to write about, so I will be brief. It’s one thing to retrain the brain to dissect and fathom objective information again, or retrain the brain to follow instructions, or summarise the particulars of something … but it is a whole world of mental fatigue to think about the the way I think and analyse my emotional past. So, as I said goodbye to the psychotherapist, I told him I was going to walk up to a doughnut cafe and have a coffee and doughnut. I had passed the cafe on the way to the psychotherapist and bookmarked it in my mind. Below is what I ate, admittedly, I only ate two and took the other two home to share.
Pity, I can’t eat them. If I could, I would.
They look lovely (heavy sigh)…
They look very nice. Hope the session was worthwhile.
I think so. Have another next week. We’ll see how it goes. If anything, I have approached it with the aim to take away skills to minimise emotional disruption.
I could not find therapy when I most needed it, but you all were here and it has made all the difference. I hope you will find it very helpful. One thing I have learned is that hiding my feelings is not the same as dealing with them. They are less likely to come out in a negative way if I think about why I feel the way I feel and speak to someone about it, most especially the specific person if there is one involved, and to carefully choose how I present it. I can’t yell at my caretaker that they should just know how I feel and what I want, when I keep telling her I don’t need anything and I am doing fine, when the real problem is that I am angry I can’t drive myself to see some friends or just get out of the house and that I am lonely. At the moment I will think I should be angry after all these years of taking care of her and everyone else at home, figuring out what they need and want, and that is the way you take care of someone…asking questions, watching for clues, paying attention to likes, dislikes, minor things mentioned. She has never had to take care of me before, and I am certainly not the only one she has to take care of. The point was, in the analyzing, you are learning to consider other possibilities while also considering yourself as well as the others around you. Too often it goes too far left or right of center…either you are blowing up at someone else, crying in defeat or overlooking your own needs to keep from making waves . Confronting your feelings is a good thing. You are and encouraged to give them the space to be. Even negative feelings can be good for us…crying is a release, anger or annoyance often help us find the way to get our needs met. Without sadness, would we recognize our joys? To calm down, I like the one hand trick…five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste. (five fingers to remember it).
A very sincere post, DeAnn, thank you for that.
Also, a lovely tip about the 5 senses
Glad to feel your presence, again,
Do share what you have learned
@Rups i hope you found the session useful. It must have been difficult but you did it. And after that I think you earned a doughnut or 3.
I dare say psychotherapy pulls a lot out of you, and it can be a tough journey. I can see why you’d need those delicious looking doughnuts afterwards. I hope that the journey leads you to a much calmer place
I wouldn’t dream of judging you, but your doughnuts are a different matter.
The cup of coffee and the box of treats next to it look like excellent compensation for any ordeal.
I wouldn’t blame you for returning for more.
P.S. Send doughnuts, please! --Since you have made us all crave them.
God, those doughnuts look good. I would have eaten them in all in one go, I’m afraid. They are one of my favorite things sweets to eat. And then the coffee with them – it doesn’t get much better.
I hope you get the needed help, Rups.
Keep us updated, and tell us what you learn.