Communication help

Hello my name is Tony on the 11th of October my wife Hazel suffered a stroke that has left her with communication problems and some mobility problems her speech is limited to yes I understand there is no magic wand or quick fix but i just wondered if anyone who has also suffered this can help me with what i need to do to help her thank you for your time

Hi Tony @tony4755, welcome to the forum. I’m so sorry to hear your wife has had a stroke.

Unfortunately I don’t have any recommendations/advice that will be of assistance to you, though I sincerely hope your wife’s condition improves and you are able to get some semblance of your previous relationship back.

Wishing you both all the very best. Stay strong, for yourself and because Hazel will need your support and understanding.

Hi Tony,
You don’t say whether she just has problems forming the words, or whether she can’t think of the right words. I had a speech therapist when I was in hospital after my stroke and she gave me speech exercises to practice in front of a mirror. Like all stroke recovery, it takes practice. Try and find a speech therapist. I found not being able to communicate one of the worst after effects of my stroke and my speech still slurs when I get tired 7 years on.

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Hi Minnie B Hazel can say odd words like yes and no but not always in the right places she tries to have a conversation but only using yes but in high and low tones . i like the idea of the mirror i will try that thank you so much for taking the time to reply stay safe

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Hi Tony,
You really need to get a speech and language therapist (the sooner the better). They are worth their weight in gold. Good luck.

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Hi Minnie B
Hazel is seeing a speech therapist as part of the stroke services team in the hospital i have been told this will carry on when she is allowed home if not i will arrange for someone private thank you so much for your advice stay safe

@tony4755 hi Tony I hope Hazel improves quickly. Lots of patience and understanding. This forum is a great place for ideas , concerns and questions answered by real people who have been through similar experiences. Be strong and lots of luck :four_leaf_clover:

Hi Loshy
thank you I know we will get through this in time . i cant beguine to understand what it must be like for her but she is such a strong and positive person
take care and stay safe

@tony4755 hi, it will be frustrating and frightening for Hazel. I’m having counselling and I find it really helps. The stroke team will set you up for her to support her just like speech and language therapist. Good luck and each day is a step in the right direction. Hazel is lucky to have you learning about strokes. I hope you get her home soon. That’s when the rehabilitation will start. :blush:

Hi Loshy
thank you so much for the positive post fingers crossed she comes home soon, i will ask about counselling, stay positive and safe

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Hi Tony. Sorry to hear that your wife has had a stroke. There is much to be thankful for in that she has survived. There will be hard times. but also much happiness. I too had a stroke nearly two years ago. I was unable to speak or swallow. My right side was paralysed. I now can talk, my husband says I talk too much! I walk with a rollator. I say this to let you know that there is a lot to hope for. Try to use an I- Pad , get your wife to use one if possible. You are in my thoughts. Lilian

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Hi Lilian
thank you for your kind words Hazel was the same unable to speak or swallow or feed herself and it is her right arm and leg that is affected the only word she has at the moment is yes and sometimes no , i am so pleased that you can now speak and that you are mobile it gives me so much hope i realise it is a long journey i will read this to her tomorrow that will give her even more strength thank you so much
take care and stay safe

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Hi Tony
My husband had his stroke several years before I had a TIA, he lost his speech which has got a bit better but he doesn’t always say the words he thinks he is saying and gets angry and frustrated. I sympathise what you are going through, have plenty of patience, progress is slow, encourage Hazel to do what she can and forget what she cannot do. I encouraged Bill to join a local petanque group gentle exercise and socialising in the open air. The group played a big part in his recovery. He loves playing now. It is an ideal activity as you can’t really ruin anyone else’s game. Neither of us had played before. You can even play it in a wheelchair. Classic fm as background music is good. You have tremendous adjustments to make, I must confess I used to cry in the shower for the first few months grieving for the person Bill was before his stroke. He has been marvellous helping me since my blood cancer diagnosis. We have been married 56 years. Don’t become isolated accept all the help you get offered. Marylin

Dear Tony thank you for your. reply… Please give her my best wishes. It is a long struggle but it is worth it.Lilian

Dear Tony

I had aphasia and I can recall that, when anyone spoke to me, it was an alarming and distressing wall of noise. I had to take in the noise, chop it in to words, then think what was meant, then think about a reply. Then form the words in my head and finally convince my mouth to speak those words. The ward staff understood. They asked specific questions then waited for a response. I mainly wanted quiet. Visiting hour was a nightmare, all those noises.
After three months I could converse a little. After six months I could converse a lot.

I asked my wife to read, knit, go for a coffee . I really did not want to know what was happening at home, in fact nothing outside my small ward.

I have made quite a full recovery. It’s all so slow, but, if Hazel persists, there will be recovery.

The best advice I can offer is to Hazel and that is for her to smile, smile, then smile again… for you Tony, look after yourself and support Hazel. She is the only one who can effect recovery. Your support will be invaluable.
Best wishes

Hi Marylin
i write a few lines every visit, i started the day Hazel had her stroke so that i can look back and see how she has improved and i find that helps , i am learning to be more patient but the days are so long and the one hour visiting is just not long enough cant wait until i get her home fortunately we have some relay good friends but it is not always easy to talk without getting emotional so i use a lot of text messages thank you for your kind words and advice
take care and stay safe

Hi Colin
Hazel can understand most of what i say to her and can remember a lot of things she is such a strong person she cant wait to get home thank you so much for your advice i am so pleased you have made a good recovery you have given me hope for Hazel
stay safe