Of course my physical and mental health are infinitely wose , its not all bad. My levels of empathy and Compassion and the like are off the charts. The power of holding hands with someone and a nice smile are so meaningful now. Fame and fortune mean nothing now. I dont want anything. I actually listen to what others are saying without thinking of what ill say. My desires now are to put my wife on the pedestal she so rightfully deserves, spread a little sunshine, and make people laugh. I so appreciate the little things in life like solitude, contentment , gratitude, and courage. Im guessing this way of thinking is typical for people whove been beaten to within an inch of their death. I spend lots of time thinking about the meaning of life and my existence, not just turn on the TV and zone out. When in the hospital i knew i was going to have to reivent myself. I had no idea it was going to be so philosophical, but i like it. Anybody know what im saying?
I do so agree with you. Lilian
@Chlodog i too agree with you. It’s not all been bad & i do like some of my new life…especially the fact that i’ve slowed down & now have more time for all those things & people i never had before.
That is a good way to look forward.
I know I now have some disability but I also still have a lot of ability left in me. The thng is for all of us is ‘how can we use that ability’. I am learning to be outward looking and chatting on these forums is one thing I try to do. It keeps my mind active and I hope that it will help others to keep their minds active too.
We recently had a discussion of this very thing, as part of another discussion. I am glad you brought it up under its own heading. I don’t know if it is the almost passing that causes that, but I do see so many being much kinder than I see in the general populace. I also see that in cancer survivors, most especially children. I had much the same attitude before, and was ready to die, thought I was dead actually. I think what is different is that now I don’t let the business of the day get in the way to make me forget to keep my kindness and share my love. I am more huggy than I have ever been, and more honest–in sharing feelings and thoughts that may upset someone. I was afraid before of that upset, but I’m finding other people feel more free to share their own feelings and thoughts in a deeper, more open way. The result is even better relationships.
Chodog-- You expressed exactly the way my stroke affected me and my life. I often think of it as having been a true blessing. I hate to think of the wasted future years had not my eyes been opened to what is truly important in life. Jeanne
@Chlodog well said, we often don’t realise how much the little things in life matter
You put it across really well.
You are most certainly not alone in thinking that.
I’m no saint and still have my moments on occasion but this community is a good place to be and I do think that passes around.
As for the ‘Great re-Design’, yup, I know just what you mean.
Perhaps it is a sort of clarity that it brings?
Keep on keepin’ on
Dr Jill Bolte Taylor’s experience. video available to watch on utube or book ‘My Stroke of Insight’ was profound and being a Brain Scientist was able to explain hers. For me it’s just I’m in a better place, know in the great scheme of things there is nothing to be afraid of. Like Bob Marley sang, “ don’t worry about a thing, every little things gonna be ok”
A great thread this.
Once i accepted Andy version 2 - i began to like him more and more.
He is much calmer and less in a hurry all the time; much more in the moment and has some great new traits too which are different and better than pre stroke Andy version 1.
Im healthier - eat better, sleep better, blood results have improved as im no longer pre diabetic.
Im a better friend to my friends in some ways, but i dont let my stroke define me.
I definitely dont sweat the small stuff anymore…and dont prethink or overthink like i was always guilty of.
I take the positives in everything now and live very much in the moment.
There are some amazing stories on here of continuing improvement and a lot is to do with the mindset.
I hope this thread grows and grows…
Regards and love to you all
Well said Andy, I feel much the same way. Slowing down and appreciating life a bit more can’t be a bad thing. We would all probably have been guilty of burning the candle at both ends until it burned out.
Ingo66–I definitely burned my candle at both ends. The stroke stopped me before I burnt out, thank goodness.
Thanks for this. I agree. I’m now much slower than I was but feel better for it. It took me a long time to realise and come to terms with what happened. But now I look back and think it was the ‘crossroads’ moment in life. I take things at a different pace and now am beginning to enjoy life and it’s simple pleasures, of which there are a lot. It’s not the same and I’m not the same but better for it. Thanks for posting it made me think and reflect more.
I was going through documents this week in preparation for a form I had to send off. For the first time I had the full detail of what my stroke was. What to do with that info though, do I Google it, should I ? But curiosity won and yeh I did.
I knew mine was a baddie, it was stated in a % band that as low as 20% survive.
What to do with that info. Not quite processed that bit yet, think I have to work that through. Its a much lower percentage than I was told before. Think it’s made me bit more relaxed, this time is perhaps a bonus.
Like you I am truly grateful for my wife’s help. I try to reduce her workload where I can but the pain doesn’t help. Not easy not to feel guilty. She said to me “you would do the same for me”…I thought yeh I would but there is no way I would do as good a job
@Nigelglos Ahhh the joys and pitfalls of Dr Google, you’re here so that’s a big bonus
Your wife sounds a wise woman
I think it is wonderful when a SS works through the first phase of despair and slowly drags themselves out of the slough of despond and then, hopefully, find that PDG is kicking in. I found that this took a long time but now I agree with most of the discussion above. I feel I am a different and hopefully a better person than I was pre stroke. My priorities have completely changed and I am a much more contented person.
My greatest pleasure now is speaking to my contacts through the “Hear for you” service and feeling that I am making a difference, however small, to people’s lives - in a good way
@Richard_Kefford hello, good to hear from you again and it’s wonderful that you’re giving comfort to others SS via the here for you service, keep up the good work
I do understand what your experiencing. Everyday is a stepping stone for me. I’m not going too lie I have good and bad days. It’s like starting over again having a Hemorrhagic stroke over 2 years ago. I must say I make sure I have better days than bad. Just don’t give up. I stay more healthy and work out more in my new gym I call my second home.
Hi @tomtom and welcome to the forum, another home of great solace
but I’ve got to agree with you, the gym is my second home too, exercise seems to have become my new addiction
Hi, completely understand what you’re saying.
Like you. My priorities have changed dramatically, I have been participating in a life style management course. Which has helped me to focus on my approach to my situation. I had Subarachnoid haemorrhage. Was in hospital for nearly three months. Some of which I am blissfully unaware of. Being a widower and single dad.
My main goal was to return home as soon as possible. Like o I’m looking at life, from a different perspective.
Enjoying my time on this planet.