Be brave

A year and a half after having a stroke and six TIAs. I got up early, unusual for me. I drank coffee and then joined others who subscribe to the daily ritual. I was tired. Confused. My symptoms were particularly bad as I hadn’t had enough sleep. I knew I needed to go back to bed but didn’t feel I could. My symptoms got worse. My vision started playing up. I could barely walk. I kept on going. Then I stopped. I looked at a vase above the sink and looked at the flowers in it. I breathed. I focussed. I emptied my brain. It felt good. I rejoined the morning activity. My reprieve didn’t help. The symptoms kept on persisting. I finally got to bed, the sleep felt good, but I woke up feeling just the same as I did before going to bed. I forced myself to get up and face the rest of the day. I was unsure, but I pushed myself out into the open. I staggered through the rest of the evening, taking every blessing as a reward for feeling a little better. Then bedtime, and then insomnia until 3 am.

I was not strong. I was brave. I was just brave because I felt pain all through the day and endured it anyway I could. I was not stoic, I weeped inside and panicked away from others. It feels lonely, but I was brave. No one knew I was so brave.

Here is to us who are so brave. Each moment you have where you are brave makes you wiser than you could possibly know. Brave people are the very foundation on which others tread. Without brave people, the careless cannot catch a breath.

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Morning @Rups . Thank you for this. We are brave because the other road is a dead end and leads no where. Hope you are feeling better and more rested. Julia x

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Rups. I think some of us discover that we are stronger in adversity than we ever thought possible. I am very lucky because there is a stubborn streak in my paternal genes that has always come to my aid in times of difficulty. Strangely, as I lay in my hospital bed after stroke hit, I had a strange sense that I would get over this catastrophe and, to a certain extent, I have.

I’m not saying I have made a wonderful recovery, but I have made a partial one. I still wobble and totter a bit and, unknown to my partner, I did have a fall at Bodnant and had to be helped up. My fault, because I tried to do something I knew I couldn’t.

Each day is a battle, but I keep trying. Mind you, I’m nearly 79 and somewhat deaf and with all the usual aches and pains of old age. I laugh a lot at myself and laugh a lot with others and then carry on. We have one life and, if you think about, have to be brave at every stage of our existence.

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Morning @Rups well done on being brave. Its hard to.soldier on when we feel so rubbish but you did it.
Hope today is a better day for you x

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Attended my Stroke support group yesterday and as I watched attendees head for home and knowing most of their struggles and histories felt proud to be a member of this Brave Group.And my Heart went out to the few who have no partners or carers and battle on, Brave indeed.

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Hello Rups. It was sorry to hear that you had a hard time. You are so positive and encouraging to others. I hope today will be better for you. I am still struggling with trying to walk and talk again but I will persist and hope for a better tomorrow. It is a fight we will win. Love Lilian

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