April

April has been dreadful for me.

I have had an upset tummy all month, first few days in April I couldn't eat a thing, anything in my mouth made me gag, even my tablets in the morning and they are tiny.

Don't know if I have the virus or not. I have heard it can affect your tummy.

Today, I am making myself eat, though I have no appetite whatsoever, because I know I am making myself worse. I go for a daily walk for half an hour with Carl, I hold his hand because my left arm feels comfy ish doing that, instead of just hanging there in pain. I never want to go for a walk but I know that it's doing me some good.

I'm 15 months past stroke, before this lockdown I would say I was doing really well, back at work for two afternoons a week, getting there. To say my recovery has stalled is an understatement. I struggle to get upstairs for the loo, and with tummy upset sometimes I have to really hurry up. When the office e mailed me to say they wouldn't be putting me on the rota I was relieved. School has been open all the time but I wouldn't have gone in to work feeling this dreadful anyway.

I spend most of the day lying on my side, because of left arm aching I can't sit normally. If I get up to do the slightest job, like load the washer I am exhausted and have to sit down. It's going to take me ages to get back to where I was and who knows how long this lockdown will last.

Sorry, can't think of anything positive to end this on.

There is NOTHING positive about stroke. Just know that you are not alone and I hope writing it down on here helped you get it off your chest a little bit. People on here do understand exactly what you mean and Im sure someone more eloquent and positive will have some fantastic words for you. 

Best wishes from a fellow SS. 

I so, so sympathise with you. I have had the same.......8 months after my stroke doing really well and then bang, picked up a virus or something, and just went downhill. I ended up being sent to A and E (I have an anuerism as well) and they though I had a bleed, luckily it wasn't.......but saw a great Lady Neurologist......who explained to me that sometimes  a simple virus can aggravate our brains after a stroke and it can cause setbacks, which she thought was what had happened with me. I don't know if this is any help to you, but it did put my mind at rest, so I am hoping it will do the same for you. As you said as well, it doesn't help being stuck in on this lock down, our minds tend to play tricks with us. But you are not alone, remember that.

Take care and stay safe in these worrying times and remember you are not alone.

Jane.

Hi Julie, I'm so sorry that you've had a grotty month.  I find that my husband sometimes has odd 'episodes' which eventually resolve themselves and seem to just come out of the blue - no rhyme or reason ? it's very frustrating.  I guess it's possible you picked up a bug at school, it sometimes doesn't take much to knock a SS sideways ?.  The lack of appetite is always a weird thing, but I think stroke changes taste buds as well as sometimes not registering if you feel hungry/or not.  

I'm not really sure about the aching arm - my husband has some odd physical ailments which he never previously had, and I've reached the point where I blame the stroke for anything I can't find a reason for.  Stroke is not a linear recovery, it's absolutely all over the place.  Having read lots of posts on this site, it seems that many SS suffer these episodes from time to time, so probably best to take courage from them, rather than from an observer like me!!

I have recently retired from my special school teaching post, and I cannot imagine what is must be like for schools just now, but gotta feel so worried for the children - wonder how they will remember this time when they're a few years older.  Most children love school, and will find it difficult to be apart from their friends.  But at least you needn't worry about that just now.  It clearly goes against your normal instincts, but I think all you can do is rest as much as possible, take plenty of fluids and allow your brain and body to gradually sort themselves out.  I look forward to hearing that you have started to improve, be kind to yourself, and let us know how you get on.

xxxx

Julie, I suspect that we all have setbacks. I find that some days I think I am deteriorating and that my ability to walk and do things is going backwards. On those days I slow down and try to analyse whether my mood is affecting my ability and vice versa. I still get fatigue every day and have spent the last four years after my stroke napping for an hour at noon. That helps me no end.

As for the aching arm, all I can say is that my weak arm and shoulder are still not right, despite the fact that I can do quite a lot with them. The shoulder always feels heavy and achey. The best explanation I have had is that our arms hang from our body, defying gravity. Our brains accept that they hang there so do not feel the weight as it were. Stroke damages brain cells, so it may be my brain experiences the arm in a different way. I do shoulder exercises every day in the hope that it will 'feel' normal, but as an old codger, I don't know whether it ever will.

I do hope things improve for you. Stroke is the worst experience ever and one's life changes overnight. I wish you all the best.

I totally agree with you huntspete!  Writing here DOES help a lot, and it's great there is such support.    Am not qualified, but would only hope better days lie ahead......soon!  Stay well, and thankful to be still here.  Peace Carole laugh

Hi everyone. I hope you are all well. I am grateful for your comments and I am glad that you know that me having a bit of a rant helped me a lot.

I am on the mend. I am trying to eat again, don't feel sick when I do eat, can load the washer without needing to lie down immediately, and have made tea tonight and last night.

I have lost a lot of weight, I am 5,2 and was 8 stone 2 before, dunno what I am now because I don't own scales, but I know my body has changed a lot. So the fattening up process has started.

Looking at the press previews on the news ( the only news I watch) it looks like we will be able to go out for more than one walk a day, so I will be doing that, the more exercise the better! At a distance of course.

Stay safe everyone.