My husband had a major left brain stroke in June, left him unable to walk or speak and has lost sight in left eye, 8 weeks in hospital and 3 months in rehab. He has been home for 7 weeks now and whilst he is now able to walk with a stick he still has no speech. He refused to engage with the speech therapist in rehab and will not try now he’s home, not sure if it’s fear of failure, lack of understanding or lack of belief that it will help. Very frustrating for both of us and I feel useless.
@Shazza58 welcome to the forum although sorry your husband has had a stroke.
It’s really difficult if someone doesn’t want to engage with some of their rehab. I wonder if he’s finding it difficult to deal with & engaging in the therapy is a reminder of how much he’s struggling. It’s also quite exhausting & that might make it more difficult for him. Some people feel embarassed about it & feel its better to say nothing.
All you can do is keep trying & reassure him. I’m sure you’re doing great. It’s difficult for you too. Please don’t beat yourself up if things aren’t going as you’d like.
Sending you my very best wishes.
@Shazza58 welcome, sorry about your husband’s situation.
It must be difficult if he doesn’t want to take part in the therapy. Keep trying to encourage him.
Thank you Ann for those kind words.
Thank you, I’ll keep trying.
@Shazza58 sorry to hear about the difficulties you are facing and to hear about your husband’s stroke. It is still early days and everyone’s recovery is different. Please just continue to be patient but I know that’s not easy. Just pleased you are able to have your husband at home. I’m sure you’re not alone in this xx
Dear Shazza58, My stroke was very similar to your husband’s. If he can engage the speech therapy it would be beneficial, but maybe it’s too soon for him. I know it left me exhausted the first few weeks. Check there is not a cut off date for speech therapy. If that is the case tell your husband there no hurry but encourage him to think about it. Look after yourself in the meantime, you have also been through a traumatic time. all the best. Moira
Thanks Moira, I know I have to take one day at a time with my husband, he did try to do some writing, copying things I’d written for a couple of days but found it very hard now herefusing to try again, it’s the same with his physio for a couple of days he did some different exercises now he’s back to walking only.
Thanks Maz, I am greatful he’s at home, it’s just frustrating that he won’t try different things and seems to give up easily which I never expected as he has always been a determined person.
@Shazza58 his body is still recovering from a massive trauma and he will need a lot of rest and sleep. What you see as little things are massive steps for him. I know it’s so hard but just gently encourage him. Be prepared for him to take his frustration out on you. He won’t mean it but I remember how I felt when it happened to me. Wishing you both all the best xx
Hi Shazza, I feel for you,I really do. Is your husband feeling a bit down? It is quite common after a stroke. Just let him walk, it is good exercise, and maybe other things may come in time. Strangely enough writing I have lost, luckily I can use a computer for letter writing etc. LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, it is very important. Moira.
Thank you Moira, my husband is not really feeling down, more frustrated. He isn’t able to use a computer but he can read. I know it all takes time and I need to be patient but I just want to help him and it’s frustrating when he refuses to try.
@Shazza58 unfortunately, as much as you want to help, you can’t do the work for him, he has to engage with the rehabilitation himself, as you say be patient with him, keep gently encouraging him to try.
Hi Shazza, I think all you can do is be patient and gently persuade him if he seems amenable. Moira
Hi Shazza, So sorry to learn about your husband’s condition. My poor husband has been the brunt of my frustration since my stroke in July. Hopefully your husband will try to speak soon. Best wishes Cynthia
Thank you Cynthia, we now have an appointment with speech therapist later this month, I’m hoping he will engage this time.
@Shazza58 good luck hope it goes well