Hi, my husband was discharged from hospital six weeks ago having suffered two strokes during heart surgery. He is completely dependent on others although, fortunately, he has speech but some cognitive impairment. I cry a lot for what he has lost and, selfishly, for what I have lost too. Our lives have changed completely which I am finding difficult to adjust to and difficult to help him. Messages on this site are encouraging and very helpful but can someone please tell me that this gets better for us both, even if we have to just accept his limitations. Thank you
It does get better. When I came home my partner said we have nothing to look forward to. I worked hard at recovery and, six years on, we have holidays and days out. In the beginning I encouraged him to have time away from me. Do take occasional breaks yourself. I also make a reasonable contribution to running the home, although not as much as I used to.
@SilviaNT welcome to our forum and I’m sorry your husband had the strokes. It must be very stressful and such a shock for you as he was having heart surgery too. I can only say it’s early days. It’s great he has some speech too. Try to be patient but don’t beat yourself up. Your allowed to feel upset and even angry it’s very cruel life at times.
Take time out for yourself and make sure you have support around you.
Nothing else I can say but time does heal. I wish him a good recovery to get your lives back on track. Best wishes Loraine
@SilviaNT welcome to the forum but sorry to hear of your husbands strokes. Made worse as you would have been hoping his surgery would get his life back on track.
It is very early days for you both yet. It will be a very emotional time & crying is good. It’s a massive adjustment for you both so never be afraid to cry. I still cry often & I’m nearly 8 months in. Time does help & things should improve. Hopefully you’re getting the medical help needed e.g physio. It takes time to adjust so just take 1 day at a time, celebrate the small successes & eventually you will look back.& see how far you’ve come.
We’re all here for support if you need us.
Best wishes to you both.
Hi @SilviaNT welcome though I’m sorry to hear of your husband’s stroke and the situation you both find yourselves in.
It’s a shock for the both the person having the stroke their loved ones too. It’s early days, there’s time for improvements to be made with regards to your husband’s rehabilitation and progress. Don’t be afraid to cry, sometimes we simply need a good cry.
Wishing you both all the very best. Stay strong, stay positive, be kind to yourself. Hopefully you have family and friends that can give you a break now and then to enable you to recharge your batteries.
Take care and big hugs
Thank you everyone for your lovely, encouraging comments. I will try to take one day at a time and not to dwell too much on the past or look too far into the future. Thank you so much for your love and support, it has helped.
@SilviaNT your very welcome we all have our own ways and stories. Biggest thing to take away with you is you can always talk to us. Do you have any hobbies? Could you try new ones? I paint by numbers now and love it, some do jigsaws and colour by numbers. Lots of gardening ideas if you navigate on the forum there’s lots of headings to look into. It might distract you and help you have something for you while your husband is in recovery. You can ask all questions for anything
I feel I have trusted friends on this forum. Best wishes Loraine